Happy birthday pickle! I cannot believe you’re 1 today. I’m not going to lie, I am holding back the tears as I’m writing this for you to read one day. I love you and your chubby toes so much!
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I shit myself. I was completely terrified, pregnancies haven’t always been the best for me. I couldn’t allow myself to get excited until I saw you in the right place happy and healthy. Your nanny and I got to see you at 6 weeks! A tiny little dot with a fast heart beat, she cried but I couldn’t. I still knew in the back of my head so many things can still go wrong. Once the ALL DAY sickness passed and we had that 12 week scan, I finally started getting excited. We couldn’t wait to meet you and see who you looked like. Let me tell you boy, I am so happy you look like me. After all the shit I had to do to get you into this world, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
I’ll forever walk like a old lady as long as all our babies get here okay.
The day we got to hold you
Meeting you for the first time was bat shit crazy. One long ass labour and you made your dramatic entrance into the world just like your mama. Emerson you little bugger you wouldn’t take a deep breath, those 30 seconds seemed like a lifetime. As soon as you started to cry, everything fell into place for me. Life wasn’t about me anymore we had a baby to take care of. To love and snuggle all day. You snuggled up to me straight away and we had skin-to-skin for around 2 hours. That was exactly what we both needed. You barely cried, but you were a boobie baby all the way! I was so proud when we got you weighed on day 5 and you had barely lost any weight, even the midwives were amazed. My nipples on the other hand, were not.
You have saved me in so many ways I can never even begin to express how grateful I am for you. To have you as my son. You’re cheeky just like your daddy and stubborn just like your mummy. Your smile melts me every time, your dad and I struggle to teach you right from wrong sometimes, as you just smile with those big brown eyes everyone loves and we can’t be mad anymore. Even if you do nearly pull the tv down.
You are full of beans all the time, which makes for an interesting time. My little explorer, you’re intrigued by everything, you want to know how everything works. We show you how to do something and you always pick it up. Often it’s on the first try but other puzzles take a little longer but you persevere which I love! You never give up, I hope you put that to good use as you get older to achieve your goals. Emerson you are the happiest little boy I know and I hope it stays that way. I will always encourage you to talk about your feelings with us, if you want to cry it’s okay I’ll be here to hold you. Honestly I’ll probably cry with you because sometimes I do love a good cry.
Grateful for so much, but especially you
I cannot even begin to describe how happy you make me, even when you shout at me when I’m eating food because you want some. From the moment you were born and you raised that one little eyebrow, I knew you were going to be a sassy little boy. You are so full of attitude already, you tease us with your toys, you look and smile when we tell you no. Then carry on anyway.
I can’t wait to see you grow up and see your personality shine. You love people so much, which just goes to show rudeness and discrimination are taught by society and those around you. I hope to teach you to treat everyone with kindness, no matter the differences. I hope you stand up for people that are in trouble, or being bullied. If you ever get bullied I hope you feel comfortable enough to speak to us about it.
We love you so much Emerson, we can’t wait to experience everything as you get older. Your daddy can’t wait for you to start talking because he seems to think you’re going to listen to him, ha! I know how stubborn you are and I think it’s more than me so you’re dad is in for a real treat!
Happy Birthday pickle, can’t wait to see you smash your cake today! Lots of love, mama xx